Vancecordell's Journals

BRANDON HILTON = FAIL

Ya know Brandon, (yes I'm addressing you since I know you Google yourself and you lurk everyone and their mother's pages online)

I wasn't going to give you the attention you crave by blogging or writing a journal about you, but ohhhh what the hell, why not.

I'm bored and I just woke up, what a way to start off the day, eh?

First off:

You are NOT the biggest nor first "internet celebrity," especially when 90% of the general public hates you and the other 10% claim they support you yet have no idea who you are lmao.

All you are is the biggest inernet FAIL. Your concepts are STOLEN (see photos below =] )

Oh look, someone who did it first and way better (Audrey, obviously). Funny how she made the water match her hair and oh lookieeee, you did the same thinggggg.

Ohhhh look, once again, someone doing something original and then you come along to try and mooch off of the originality. How pathetic.

Then you want to run around stating how much better your music is than Kayvon's.. hahah. Bitch please. Your music sounds like transexual meets methadone meets tonka toys. As usual you attempt to expedite the process of creating drama with someone who has nothing to do with you and is much more successful than you (Kayvon, Audrey, Mandy, etc.) in a twisted attempt at mooching off of their fame. You couldn't even handle mine and Kayvon's comments back to you on MySpace after our short "quarrel" so you deleted them and blocked us. How funny.

I also love how much your fans show you love.

LOLOLOL.

Basically, get over the fact that you're >> NOT << famous. You are known online simply for being a leech. A virus. Something that infests and mooches.

You even stalk a little Internet Celebrity Fansite on MySpace. They used to bash you but you begged for them to feature you and so they finally did.

Funny enough, me, kayvon, kaiden, mandy, audrey, etc. didn't have to ask. As a matter of fact we didn't even know about the site until after they added us on their site and asked to use our photos.

Haha.

With Love,

xoxox

-V

How I Fucking Miss Being a Kid

You know, it's 5:37am and I couldn't help but not sleep. I was thinking about something I seem to find myself thinking about more and more.. How much I fucking miss being a kid. Silly, right? But I also can't help but think I'm not alone in this. Think about it. What was so great about being a kid? Well, I remember having a lot of fun, over anything else. I remember playgrounds where we used to find it hysterical just to simply run around chasing each other. I don't know about you, but now, I HATE chasing someone, and by the time I catch up with them, if they made me get tired the first thing I want to do is kick them in the teeth. THEN, I would have been thrilled to have my two energetic legs fueling me around the playground. Also, what do we do as we get older? We begin to drink and find an assortment of other vices that all seem to do the same thing: Dumb us down. Dumb us to the point where life is carefree and we don't feel the stress and pressures of our normal everyday lives we come to acquire as adults. We become easily amused, and seem to get ourselves into other forms of mischief. Also, what time of our lives does middle-class America (the majority of the US) consider most valuable? The time that we spend raising our children. Is this because we like to fantasize about re-living those carefree days by watching our own children experience them? I wouldn't know, I'm not a damn parent, but it sure seems that way. I know a lot of parents who try to re-live their own lives through their kids. But anyway, I know I miss nickelodeon, I miss cartoon network, and the Disney Channel. I miss waking up and not having so much tension between myself and my own mother (now things are strained). I miss not having to worry about work, when I have to get my next term-paper in for an undergraduate study, and paying the cable bill on time (Comcast just sent me a bill for 21 cents. What the fuck. I'm not writing a fucking check for 21 cents). What do you think?

Secrets About Vance --- RIP Peter Thompson (I miss you man)

Alright so... one of the biggest things I haven't shared with anyone online yet is that over a month ago..

My childhood best friend died.

He overdosed on cocaine, morphine, robitussin, and CCC's (coricidin cough & cold).

RIP Peter, I know we stopped hanging out around 10th grade... but we were best friends 5-9th. You will be missed more than you'll ever know. And I wanted to let you know I found the CD's you left in my car from 11th grade... haha they stayed in there for 2 years without me knowing but they happened to appear this year... after your death. Weird, huh?

See, what happened was, I just moved back in with my parents. Well, I went in my bedroom and opened an old drawer full of stuff and found my old CD case. I never opened it until I got back into the car one day to go to work. Oddly enough, a CD fell out. Only one of the like 92384928394 CD's out of their slots. It was one you had burned and left in the car two years prior. I put it in the CD player and skipped the first two songs... and it was weird.

The first words out of the speakers were "Wheeeeeeeeeeere's youuuuuur heaaaaaad attttttt!???????????" I cried so hard! All I could think about was all the reckless things I've been doing lately, and it was like you were talking to me. Telling me that being reckless will only result in self-destruction. For that I'm eternally in your debt, man, you opened my eyes back up.

I even texted my mom (who I wasn't getting along with at the time) and told her what happened. She told me you were trying to tell me something.

I think she's right.

Also, I picked up an old hobby of ours...

Remember this?

I started playing it again. Remember? We used to stay up all night playing this game. Haha I'd stay over at your house and play it online with you because my parents didn't have the internet back then.

I play it now :P

Well man, I miss you a lot and hope you're enjoying yourself wherever you are. About like, oh idk... 2 or 300 people showed up to your funeral. You were loved deeply and missed even more.

Falling Into Oblivion

Ok so, I'm tired of this. I can't keep playing these games and letting people run rampant with calling me out on things they know nothing about.

So, first I'd like to say, I do not want sympathy, I do not want to be patronized. So by reading this you agree to those terms, alright?

Good.

Now then, moving on...

What I've been dealing with for the past couple months is nothing more than stress on extreme levels. There's no way in hell I could possible convey through this screen how I've felt or what I've dealt with. All I can offer is some insight into the private life of Vance Cordell..

Life. Fickle thing isn't it? Never seems to go our way, then again sometimes you just can't help but love it. Me? I've been ripped apart and pampered by it all at once, yet things seem to be spiraling downward into an oblivion of chaos right now.

FUCK IT.

Let's see.. I was supposed to have gotten my first ever apartment about 3 weeks ago. We FINALLY after MONTHS of looking find somewhere suitable, and the morning of signing the lease a roommate backs out on us, leaving us stranded, and practically homeless. One of our roommates' lease was up for her apartment and she had to be out by noon the NEXT DAY and she had nowhere to live. (Her family lives in NYC). I was living with a friend (actually, that "friend" was the one who BACKED OUT ON US) and his parents, along with our other future roommate and my best friend Olivia.

Well...

He pussied out and to avoid his parents and us kept spending the night at this former stripper's trailer in the middle of nowhere... ew and yet had no balls to tell us this himself... His mother texted us to let us know he would be backing out because they didn't want him to do so because they thought he'd be around bad people (yet the former stripper he's 'seeing' is so much better of an influence eh?). OH WAIT, they didn't know about her, we had covered for him and lied to his parents about her, even though we had never met her and didn't approve of her (because we're friends... right?).

Anyway, I decided to schedule a photoshoot since I'd only have time for one and I thought treating myself would cheer me up after a rough year...

Cancelled of course, due to inclement weather and the photographer is now out of town until September... So much for treating myself ..

Oh and of course, since I was being thrown out of my "friend's" house because he had lied to his parents about the length of our stay, I had to physically beg my parents to let me move back in (which of course crushed my last shred of dignity since they told me I was a complete failure)

Alas, moving in with dear old mom...

In the first day of moving back, she called me a stupid fag. Gotta love her <3

Also, upon arrival and living back with them, I realized how much I've missed out on my family's lives. My sister is 13 and will be 14 in 22 days... I don't even know her. I know nothing about her. She is always angry at me, yells at me, says I don't care about anyone but myself and I'm never around and she's glad she has another brother to claim instead of me since I "suck at being a brother" (her words).

OH, which brings me to my brother. I haven't seen him on a regular basis since I was 5. We have the same father but different mothers. He's lived in Florida since he was 7 (we're a year and a half apart, but while I'm 18 he's 20) and I usually see him once a year (if I see him). I saw him for one day during his visit this year, and he ignored me :)

Anyway, this post is getting ridiculously long... so

SUMMATION:

Life throws at us more than we can handle sometimes. . . but sometimes we have to suck it up and trudge through it. Yea, people can be bitches, yea, parents can be harsh, and yea, it gives you the mental state that says you have every right to take your anger out on the rest of the world.

THE TRUTH?

You DO NOT have the right to do so. It's not everyone else's fault. That's something I'm having to not only understand, but follow right now. I take my stress out on the world, and continue to let it fester inside. It's not helping...

So, my advice to you:

STEP UP, and take CONTROL of YOUR LIFE. DEAL with the bullshit, you're not the only one going through it, guaranteed ;)

-V

Bitch Please

So, something that has gripped my attention today was the past.

How no matter how far away we run from it, it always seems to transcend the present and become our future.

History repeats itself. We know this from evidence in ancient times versus modern times. World War One becomes World War Two, Roman dictators eventually evolve into the leaders of the Nazi Party, and devastating weather patterns from prehistoric times seem to creep upon the Earth once again.

The same goes for our lives.

I was reunited with an old flame, and to be honest, I was happy at first. Then I realized how things don't change.

Daytime always becomes Night.

(yes this is a very old photo of me)

The eclipse always comes, not matter how prolonged.

Run from your nightmares, but you will fall asleep again. What becomes of someone who strays the path though? I think I've changed more than most people in the past few years. However I've observed that a lot of people just stay the same.

Sure they might now wear a hollister polo instead of a hello kitty tshirt, and maybe their hair is dark and straight instead of short and spiky (not referring to anyone in particular), but their core remains.

Fool me once, shame on me,

Fool me twice? Fuck that. Doesn't happen twice, bitch.

So for the record, realize that you gotta step up in this world, and take control of your destiny.

Cause' shit, no one's gonna make it any easier for you.

xox

-V

Individuality

I'm so sick of people copying others and then advocating "not being fake" and saying "i'm real i am just me i don't follow labels" and blah blah blah.

BULLSHIT.

Everyone has a style influenced or copied. Some people have unique styles but they still have influence on them. Someone who really is "real" ADMITS this and knows this, they don't try to cover it up (btw by not admitting it you would be a hypocrite).

Just thought I'd throw that out there.

DEFINE YOURSELF. Don't let others do it for you.

To those of you doing your own thing, KEEP IT UP. xoxo love you all.

-V

Machines Capable of Eradicating the Internet ??

I was browsing on Wikipedia, the most tastefully knowledgeable unofficial insight into the truth, and I was horrified to read THIS: (quoted from the site itself)

The Storm botnet or Storm worm botnet is a botnet, a group of "zombie" computers controlled remotely. In September 2007, it was estimated to run on as many as 1 to 50 million computer systems linked by the Storm Worm, a Trojan horse that has spread through e-mail spam.^[1]^[2] Other sources have placed the size of the botnet to be around 250,000 to 1 million compromised systems. One network security analyst claims to have developed software that has crawled the botnet and estimates its control of only 160,000 infected computers.^[3] The Storm botnet was first identified around January 2007, with the Storm worm at one point accounting for 8% of all malware on Microsoft Windows computers.^[4]

The botnet reportedly is powerful enough as of September 2007 to force entire countries off the Internet, and is estimated to be able to potentially execute more instructions per second than some of the world's top supercomputers.^[5] However, it is not a completely accurate comparison, according to security analyst James Turner, who said that comparing a botnet and a supercomputer is like comparing an army of snipers to a nuclear weapon.^[6] Bradley Anstis, of the United Kingdom security firm Marshal, said, "The more worrying thing is bandwidth. Just calculate four million times a standard ADSL connection. That's a lot of bandwidth. It's quite worrying. Having resources like that at their disposalâ�”distributed around the world with a high presence and in a lot of countriesâ�”means they can deliver very effective distributed attacks against hosts."^[6]

And if that isn't shocking enough, wait til you see this:

"In terms of power, [the botnet] utterly blows the supercomputers away. If you add up all 500 of the top supercomputers, it blows them all away with just 2 million of its machines. It's very frightening that criminals have access to that much computing power, but there's not much we can do about it."^[16] It is estimated that only 10%-20% of the total capacity and power of the Storm botnet is currently being used

Yep that's it, the bot is only reaching TEN to TWENTY percent of the power and capacity it possesses. WTF!?? Uhm, ok so, this thing is out there and it's apparently unstoppable (researchers are scared to investigate the bot because it attacks those who do, according to the article).

Hmmm, what would Neo do?

Top 15 Things I Hate About Driving

Yea, not all of you drive. As a matter of fact, probably most of you don't (yet) so here's what you have to look forward to!

1. Old people driving 40 on the Interstate while traffic is moving at 80.

2. Old people driving in between lanes and shaking their wrinkly fists at you for possibly (not from personal experience...) throwing a Hardee's cup at their car

3. Lmao people with "Baby On Board!" stickers. Oh now I definitely won't cause you to wreck because you have a baby! Otherwise your ass would've been in the ditch, bitch! ( *sigh* )

4. People who think their shitty cars look cooler because they ripped off the muffler. Now it DEFINITELY doesn't sound how it looks.

5. Stop signs placed at random ass locations in a neighborhood (like where there isn't even an intersection what the feck???)

6. People who drive in the left lane with their right blinker on (they are oblivious to this) and you are too scared to pass them because they might randomly swing out and kill you dead.

7. People who drive in the right lane with their left blinker on (they are oblivious to this) and you ....

8. People smoking crack while driving

9. Knowing they let Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan run rampant on the Freeway

10. Watching someone shave while driving behind you

11. People who ease up while sitting at a red light. HONESTLY, does that extra 4 inches get you ahead in life????

12. That "nice guy" who feels so divine because they just held up traffic to let people out of McDonald's even though 90% of the rest of the world is now LATE

13. School buses

14. Pre-teens who think it's funny to yell obscenities at passing cars. OH but they never guessed one car might throw itself in reverse and chuck a Hardee's cup out the window now did they!????

15. Those girls who have to take thousands of slutty pictures of themselves while driving/removing clothing so they end up having a LOT to explain to the cop who just pulled them.

Top 15 Things I Hate About Buzznet

Ok first and foremost, I LOVE Buzznet. It's actually my favorite site to network on. SO don't judge from the title, it's just a series of Top 15 Things I Hate Abut [insert here] so shutup :)

1. People who post thousands of photos of something that has NOTHING to do with themselves

2. People who actually get a lot of attention because they made their account to upload photos/videos of people like Audrey Kitching

3. People here only for a Buzzmaker badge

4. Girls who think they're a scene queen because hello kitty threw up on their floor

5. Girls who are 14 and claim to be huge fans "since the beginning" of [insert band here]

6. People who post journals saying what they did for the day and all it is, is the same exact thing EVERYONE ELSE did (ie. "i went 2 skool N' it sukked but then my bff jill txtd me 2 cum 2 her house and watch tv!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" )

7. Lmao people with no pictures

8. People who "tlk LyK di$$ aND juSt waNt U 2 c0MmenT tHeIr sHit"

9. People who actually think being on the "Most Popular Users" list actually means anything. (hello, all you have to do is comment one of your own posts 150 times or hold a conversation with someone on a post and you'll get on there)

10. People who fight each other on Jeffree Star's posts lmfao hahaha

11. People who claim to be HUGE MCR/AFI etc. fans and yet know nothing about said band..

12. People who think whatever badge they have sets them above everyone else on the site. (BM/OG/EGP/VIP/etc)

13. When someone gets pissed off that someone else won't add them (it's their choice if they think you're boring or ugly and don't want to add you)

14. People who actually think this site is like MySpace

15. People who claim to have a clothing line and post pictures of their "merchandise" which is actually a shirt their mom bought from Target so they take finger-paint and write "cuNt" or "biTch" on it to make it look "zomfG hawwt"

Top 15 Things I Hate[d] About High School[s]

Ok, so we all either have been in or are in High School (I graduated in the Oh Seven). And there's things I can't STAND about it! (Although actually I Loved HS.)

1. If you hit someone badly with a textbook, apparently it's assault and battery with a deadly weapon. Yet the schools are allowed to distribute thousands of deadly weapons? That's a trumped charge (trust me I know).

2. Schools want to focus now on "healthy foods" and "nutrition" by taking out vending machines or replacing them. Yet they serve processed artificial meat that is injected with hormones...

3. You spend 7 1/2 hrs there only to come home to another 2 or 3 hrs of homework. Yet you're lazy if you don't finish it all? Bitch what adult works 10 1/2 hrs a day? Child Labor laws hello!?

4. High Schools are to prepare you for the "real world" by instilling practical knowledge. Since when in the real world is it custom practice to have to ASK to piss?

5. No weapons allowed, such as nail files. It's not like the thousands of pairs of scissors in the school are harmless.

6. Hats are not allowed in the building! It's totally disrespectful! To who? Since when is fashion on my head cussing you out?

7. Absolutely no cell phones! So when a school shooting occurs what happens in school stays in school!

8. They also make a big deal about having a "hall pass" or some form of permission to be out of the room. Yet never want to give the damn thing to you because they're afraid you won't come back. The people who won't come back are the troublemakers, why would you want them in your classroom??

9. Let's spend thousands of dollars on new football helmets and jerseys. Fuck new textbooks or salary raise for the teachers!

10. We block Facebook/MySpace/YouTube on our computers yet you can easily Google "big tittie lesbian porn" and the shit pops up. (PROVEN)

11. No food or drink allowed in the classrooms, it causes roaches! (then what the hell are the custodians doing all day if they're not cleaning?)

12. We don't condone violence. If you're in a violent situation you are to tell a teacher as your face is being impaled by someone's fist. DO NOT fight back or you will be arrested.

13. (this applied to my HS) ID cards must be properly displayed on a lanyard around the student's neck at ALL times so we know who belongs. Otherwise you're trespassing and arrested regardless that everyone knows you anyways.

14. Security cameras costing thousands of dollars are here for your protection! However let's only place them in hallways so that you can beat each other up or rape each other in the Bathrooms/library/outside/fieldhouse/classrooms/computer labs/nurse/front office/lobby/band room/art room

15. PDA is absolutely forbidden!! It's not as though you're an adolescent with raging hormones in the most crucial social/relationship stage of your life when your body is going through chemical imbalances.